Saturday, September 19, 2009


So here I am more than three months have passed since i left my home far away in some other land, nestled under some tall hills, under some other blue sky, close to those sweet souls. It's strange how attached i feel to that town, that land. It feels like it belongs to me somehow, like I belong to it. I didn't realize before i left that it had dug itself so deeply into me. I breathed the same air for 13 years. It leaves its mark.

I have always loved to travel. I love the feeling of getting away from all that is daily; from all the things that I "should" get done. I love the freedom that holds. I love new smells, new corners, new faces, new food, new ways. I love that each moment is so open; it so belongs to me. Each day is filled with so much space, so much room to just be. Everything takes longer on vacation. We eat for hours- several times a day, we watch our children with more breadth, more appreciation, we let things roll as they come and we let our dreams simmer to the surface.

At first, when i came to Panama, I felt as if I was just here on vacation like we have done times before. I began to relax from the crazy stress of having a new baby and packing up my life, leting go of almost all our belongings and finalizing all the details necessary to move to a new country. It was insane and I do not recommend anyone to attempt this just after giving birth!!!! My hormones were and still are master of this domain. They are surging with all that aids my body and mind to bond with this new little being and sustain her existence. No small task! Meanwhile, i am strugging with the intricasies of managing a 2 year old whose life is being tugged out from under her and all that she knows is in flux. "Mama, he's taking my table?" and "you gived my bed to a lady?"
Oh, my babes are awake needing me....until next time.

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