Tuesday, April 26, 2011

a mini rant about the panamanian worker

I'm sitting here in my kitchen while a technician is working on my dishwasher. He asked to if we had a manual for it...is that a bad thing? He sat down at the table with me and spent a good while reading the thing. hmmmm. Well, at least he's trying to get it right.

I tell ya, most Panamanians (my own experience, of course) are THE WORST at following thru, actually fixing things and providing any kind of customer service in the process. This same guy who is now texting on his phone under my dishwasher....he came a week ago, took a part and said he would be back in 2 days with the new one. Well, later that day my kitchen flooded because i turned on the water in the sink. He didnt think it necessary to tell me that the sink could not be used until he returned with said part. Ya, and then on the third day when he failed to return, we called him and he was out of town for the easter holiday. He'd be back in 3 more days. Great. thanks for letting us know. He graciously told us we could use our laundry room sink in the meantime.

Funny enough...sort of....is that this is soooooo normal here. I have a dozen stories with the same punch line....workers here are LAME!

Oh how i miss those super expensive, insured, 4 hour window visits from professionals whose work is guaranteed.

I know, minimum wage here is $1.70 so what kind of expertise can i expect....but when it takes 4 months and several tries to fix a leak in the pool (by the way, its still not fixed)? maybe you are in the wrong profession. I won't even mention the "expert" tile guy and how an installed tile fell on my husband's head and sent him to the hospital for stitches, or the "professional" window washing service who show up with windex and a paper towels or the guy who repaired the cloth ceiling in our car with elmers glue that left yellow spots.....

The problem is that here anyone can do anything because there are no standards, no laws prohibiting otherwise... nothing to protect the customers. So, in reality it's not that everybody can do anything, it's that NOBODY is trained to do ANYTHING and they all proclaim to be experts cuz they all want to get paid! AND they'll charge as they please...a pretty penny with the right address. Oh, and if you don't speak much Spanish...the price just doubled cuz you cant argue your way out of it.

Saturday, April 23, 2011

stuff is cooler than i thought

I have this crazy yearning to nest. It's so intense that i physically feel it gnawing in my gut. It's been lingering for awhile now. It feels like the kind they talk about that women experience before birth. I never did get the urge to organize and clean before either of my two littles arrived but i am sure making up for it now! My hormones are raging and screaming for me to carve a nook for my family and to stay put.

I day dream about creating cozy corners in MY home, painting MY walls, taking books off MY shelves to peruse on MY couch while staring out the window and admiring MY garden and MY curtains. In my head, i have decorated a gorgeous room for the girls...you should see it!

For the past 2 years and even longer, I have lived like each place is too temporary to settle into to. I cant hang things up or buy cute bedspreads knowing that i am not going to be here for very long. I just can't do it. It doesnt feel right. And yet i feel so lost in a way.

My husband always says that we should live like this is it in every moment and not wait for anything else to come.....he wants us to carve out a home in every house that we live in and i just havent been able to do it. If i know that i will leave in a certain amount of time than why empty out that box, why put up shelves and why buy towels of the perfect color? To me, there is no point.

We are currently living in this awesome house, fully furnished complete with silverware and hand towels. It's my mama's house and they are in the process of selling it....they moved away and gave us the opportunity to live in a totally secure neighborhood and have a huge house with a pool, a yard and hoses that occupy my babes for hours....an awesome change from apartment living!

But, not much in this house belongs to me and although i dont get too attached to things and joyfully sold and gave away our entire house before moving here....i want more than anything to have stuff again! I know, there is nothing zen about the whole thing and i question what it is i really need and why should things make me happy. after all, i really thought i was a gypsy at heart and that the whole world was my home. And maybe that is partly true but what i need right now for my own sense of security and nourishment for my soul is a home full of MY things placed in corners specifically with my intention and photos hung on walls because i chose it.

I feel far away from the days where i rejoiced in having nothing more than a trunk full of stuff. I could go anywhere in a blink. I still romanticize that notion and that freedom but with little ones i want nothing more than one single place to call home.

And thank the gods and goddesses that my time is just around the corner....3 months to go and we will be back in Boulder, Colorado where my heart says is home at least for now. We will leave this 3,500 sq foot house for a 1000 sq ft home...but, since we have to leave the maid behind our tiny house might be just right! WOOHOO!!!!

Monday, April 11, 2011

my littlest little turns 2!

I am all choked up over here with satya turning 2! I looked thru my birth pictures and allowed all the feelings and sensations of that day to wash over me. I felt like i was in a haze today with all the memories of her birth. There are so many things i need to process about that time (but that's for another post).

Two years ago i became a mother of two. What a transition! I love having my two little girls. they are magical. life just keeps going and i want more time to simmer in these memories; in these days of chubby fingers and baby voices. I can't stand the idea that my girls won't always be little. So much of me wants to keep them mine and not have them grow up and into themselves.

Mothering is such a bittersweet process. It's hard to let go of the beautiful past and not wish with all my soul that i could touch that newborn face and smell that newborn body and listen to those little coos. I want more than the memories.

Well, at least she is just 2! Imagine my tears when they turn 16, 20, 30! I think i may have to have another just to prolong this whole growing up thing.

Well, here's to my strong birth, my first 2 years as a mother of 2 and to my beautiful, powerful, fiery, sweet satya amina! Happy birthday littlest!