Wednesday, December 1, 2010

over and over again

I like new, i like change, i generally do not like to repeat things. My body and mind find comfort in doing an activity again and again but there is a part of me that resists the familiar. After i do an intense yoga class or go for a long walk or do an at home exercise routine, i think "well, that's done." and a part of me thinks i should be good to go for some. i dont like the fact that i am supposed to do it again and again and again for it to really do me any good. I want my body to suddenly transform and my mind to feel that sweet peaceful surrender.

But, unfortunately, things dont work this way in the real world and in order for me to find that comfort in a "familiar" somthing i need to get familiar with it i.e. do it again and again!

I can blame this tendency on my upbringing....being allowed to dabble in piano, violin, ballet, horse-back riding, drawing, soccer while also being permitted to quit the moment i got hurt, bored or distracted. I can also point the finger at my sun sign as a pisces being easliy influenced by others or my temperment being sanguine keeping me fluttering about on a million things but never holding my interest for long. Oh, or i can blame it on the fact that i like to stay invisible and not be noticed for anything great or tendency to blend into the walls and observe the world from a quiet sitting posture.

But, whatever the reason(s), it is a trait that i have noticed for some time now and i am playing with it wondering if i can budge, staying curious but secretly hoping that i can ground myself long enough to create habits.

So, since my full -time -plus -overtime job is mama and home maker i am trying to take baby steps and teach myself as well as be an example to my children the value of doing things twice, three times, four times, every week, every season..... it's a beautiful thing but a momentous task.

I know that repetition brings security, confidence and builds a life-long appreciation for doing stuff so i am really trying to instill some of this in our daily lives. Even the smallest things...we're not talking marathon training, picasso classes and language tutors. I don't mean for me or my children to be amazing at's more about just sticking to things and doing them for the sake of exploration, or for the sake of doing anything for so long that it brings joy and comfort.

Here's to painting, drawing, pretend music classes, dance parties, tea parties, baking, riding, planting, loving, laughing, stories, puppet shows........all the things that should be done again and again!

Wow, my life is GOOD!