Thursday, April 24, 2014

To school or not to school, part 2

My heart is aching so. oh, i hurts. I feel like i am in it deep with these mama decisions lately. It feels like the weight of the world is on me. I try to minimize them saying that either path, whichever one i choose will be the right one. I try to tell myself that the path our family takes will unravel exactly who we are supposed to be and then i feel it surge. i feel this enormous lion's roar's like the undeniable rumble that probably started all sorts of revolutions. Its the one in me that screams "NOOOOOOO!" when i consider dropping my girls into the system. Its the voice that rises up and demands change. Change that tequires a courage like none other; a courage that defies all but one inner voice as well the voice of our culture at large.

This small but clear voice is telling me not to take the road thoroughly paved. She's telling me not to send my kids to a mainstream school. She's telling me that there is another way, a better way. One that will allow them to perculate in their childhood longer than is allowed out there. one that will support them in finding their gifts in this life. She's reminding me of a way that feels distant but familiar somehow. This road was walked on before long ago when life was a bit slower, when there seemd to be time. Time to cultivate our gardens, our heats and our minds in a much deeper way than it is done now. She's telling me that we are living fully now and there is so much potential in staying the path less traveled.