Aiyana is lying on the floor next to me on a yoga mat, her skin glistening with cocoa butter and lavender oil, fast asleep. What a delicious baby growing into a magical girl.
Today after putting little Satya down for her nap. Aiyana amd I pulled out the mats, the oils, put on some relaxing music and rubbed each other. She is quite the masseuse! I adore her touch and she loves to give it. I rubbed her sweet little body, her growing feet, her perfect skin and after about 20 minutes she fell deeply asleep. Ahh, bliss!
I adore these moments together where we are loving ourselves and quieting the world; where i am remembering and she is learning to slow down and practice the art of caring for our bodies and spirits in a way that seems to have gone almost extinct in this world.
I began my cycle today, my period, my "bleed" (as Aiyana calls it). And perhaps it is an occurrence that is mostly hushed in our society, a word/an experience that is so private that is has become awkward to mention but i don't abide by those unspoken rules. In my world this time is honored and the change in my household is marked by a day or two of rest, picnics on the floor, long showers, body rubs, soulful music, books, snuggles, daydreaming, sunbathing, tea....all that is nourishing to the senses and soul.
In these first days i feel so grounded, so at peace, so strong in my knowing of what is needed and i feel breath in every moment....and space, enough space to encounter each interaction with grace. Time slows down and everything is calm. I feel connected to a deep part of my being that is so ancient and mysterious that i hardly care to speak. I feel full. I am in complete stillness with all things inside and out. It's an incredible time and one that i no longer try to resist.
This day, each month, i let all things go and in that settling i find my greatest joy and all the stress and confusion and guilt that is part of motherhood has no place...and from here i can share with aiyana the luscious connection that must be had between women. That beautiful space that we can hold for each other that allows our masks to fall away and our souls to feast.
It truly is a heaven of our own making!