Wednesday, May 30, 2012
the land of crank
When i am irritable, cranky, bitchy, and generally just off the girls sense it with their little energy antennae and they get all out of it,too. It's hell, really. Some days i just want to be out of it and stew in my misery but it makes it so hard when i have two little mirrors showing me just how heinous i really look.
It's so hard to be in a pissy mood when you know that everything that comes out of your mouth can throw the whole family into the land of crank. It feels like SO much responsibility. I hold the balance of our family. Our moods are so hugely dependent on my energy and most definitely my reactions. if i am centered enough to hold the space for meltdowns, owies and screaming tantrums then they pass thru like a tornado. Horrible, but completely gone after their mess is done.
BUT, when i am scrambling to pick up the pieces of my center and every whine feels like acid on a burn I crumble and then whole crew comes down with me. They are watching me ALL the time. HUGE responsibility.......