Sunday, January 8, 2012
There is a light dusting of snow on the ground this morning. It looks pretty from inside my little home with my hot coffee steaming next to me.
papa took the girls to a birthday party this morning so i have a couple of hours to myself. it's quiet. i can hear the heat blowing from the vents. strange. i have a million ideas of what i can do with this time and as i sit here i see the minutes ticking by and a brief panic washes over.
i want to relax, feel nourished, get energized and do nothing all at the same time.....maybe read a book, take a nap, talk to a friend, take a bath, go on a walk, get my dried paints and lonely brushes out, write here in this dusty blog, eat, drink more coffee and give myself a facial....and the clock keeps ticking and stealing away my precious minutes alone.
i even pondered going with them today. i kinda didnt want to miss the cuteness of it all. i like watching my girl's reactions to new experiences, i like to witness their joy and see their smiles and their delight. I dont like to miss any of it and i havent missed much in the last 5 years. but now i realize that its time to miss some of those moments because it is only then that i can catch glimpses of a woman i once knew.
the mama mask can sit on the shelf for a few luscious moments and i will only be the better for it.